I can't wait for this month to be over, I'm striving for too much as it is. I'm throwing myself tiny distractions to keep from truly focusing on one thing.
I was driving home from the farm house last night. I think I was listening to the Juan Maclean. I had taken a wrong turn and got lost in the woods on this big looping drive. It was Fishtrap Ln or something like that. I seriously thought Olympia had sucked my soul out and I was in limbo on my way to hell.
I threw out all the mushrooms i had today. i DONT think Ive ever done that. but it felt right.
I eventually emerged from the depths of forest back onto familiar paths and made my way home. I wanted to call David Lynch and tell him all about it.
There's something about this mad man. He's truly passionate, I can tell he feels things whole heartedly. In a strange contrast its probably why I could never be with him. But maybe I could. Maybe I just need my own farm, I'll ranch beats and bass speakers. I had this crazy fantasy that he let me photograph him slaughtering an animal and something along the lines of the witching scene from the Jim Morrrison Door's movie occured next.
Olivia and I were talking about the future prospect of my vegetarianism.. I've been feeling that way a lot more lately. Just the unnecessity of eating meat. And then when I consider Andy's way of life I think I'd only eat meat that he killed for me.
I could dedicate it all to you