Friday, July 31, 2009

i dont cry for any one these days

regardless im sitting in my bed balling tears
thinking of how i need you to negate every feeling i have
thinking of the last time i cried im pretty sure was about you too
thinking how i cant catch my breath with out your heart beat near mine
how i completely get your head not being in the right place
and despite that i want my head to be where your head is too
seeing your face woke me up from some sleepy dream i had
seeing your face was reality and seeing you walk right past me
was seeing my whole life before my eyes
im too dramatic
this is already out of proportion

play rex the dog remix of heartbeats by the knife here

Thursday, July 30, 2009

this is how it is

i sing and swim in lakes all day
and i neglect my passion for the love in
i want to write a story for you
to put down your perspective of me
especially when you see me late at night
its dark and we're dancing you stand close to me
hold my hip because its the only
way you can feel my beat
and i gently want to kiss you
because you explore the generous
gifts the pleasurable planet brings
normal people dont see it this way
those curls in my hair representing dna

and now the seaweed song by passion pit plays and you forget everything you knew about me

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

seaweed song - passion pit

-- i can't honestly publically express what i feel right now, but passion pit has a lot of songs i identify with at the moment

Some day you'll see
Surrounded by angels
Floating atop of the sea
Abandon me
Don't go where they go
Don't sing all the songs they sing

Nobody knows you the way you know you
But I think I do
But I thought I knew
Yeah, I thought I knew
Nobody knows you the way you know you
But I think I do
But I thought I knew
Yeah, I thought I knew

Between these walls
Her back, strange glimpse, casts shadows frighteningly tall
I slow to a crawl
I jump and I yell but she hears nothing at all


Stay, stay the same
'Cause everything else will change
And I've always been to blame
So please just stay the same

The currents pull me in
The tide has reached my chin
The seaweed tickles skin
Just let the water win
I'm freezing to the bone
You'll never be at home
Just watch, you're running out
Just watch your body go


and the horoscope to go with this
It's unsettling when you are attracted to the same instability that you normally would avoid. But today you are fascinated by intellectual brilliance, even if it lacks in practical value. You are excited by the unorthodox behavior of radical thinkers and bohemian artists. Your unusual behavior might worry you, but that's a normal reaction. Just keep in mind that your traditionalist approach to life will return as early as tomorrow.

live to tell the tale - passion pit

this is the room where we always dreamed
of grass and splendid evenings
emitting frequencies, lost between the
leaves and things
and i held on brightly, crushing quietly
feeling mountains rising out of
make-believe seas, creating typhoons
of feelings not easily made without need

god bless that smile on your face
god bless the seeds in the ground
god bless my family's keen gaze,
oh, i know
that whatever happens to you,
whatever happens to me,
i hope that i'll fall asleep
knowing that you'll always be
the story with no ending

the whole slew blossomed beautifully,
and i was beside myself
so i gave into your love
as you rapture asleep, upended
and this is like i have always dreamed:
cobblestone and dusty feet
that's the way it should always be
head over heels and deftly
wonderful and healthy

Friday, July 24, 2009

do you remember your freedom?

do you know the difference between this and that?
the cool breeze pressing against your face
peeling with it sensations across your nerves
holding tight and flying
the rhythms and the heart beats and the speed
the rise and fall of the plateaus and mountains
the blood red sediment lines
they all rose together and receded the same
everything united and my brain had melted
i felt the release

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

In honour of the record release

if some one would please buy me the KLEERUP!!! record!!!! <3 vinyl format would just be the most delightful

Lyrics to Until We Bleed :
I'm naked
I'm numb
I'm stupid
I'm staying
And if Cupid's got a gun, then he's shootin'

Lights black; heads bang
You're my drug
We live it
You're drunk, you need it
Real love, I'll give it
So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

You wasted your times
On my heart
You've burned
And if bridges gotta fall, then you'll fall, too

Doors slam
Lights black
You're gone
Come back
Stay gone
Stay clean
I need you to need me
So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

Now we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

abstract self abusive whore. yea

thats a good way to put it. testing all waters, and you even have to convince yourself that you can handle the cold. its just such a different feeling when youre all alone, conquering the world, the cold is a stern kick in the ass to get up and do something, or to dive right in. when youre all alone the cold is more than the dark corners and crevices its the shoulder that is missing. the cold is the constant reminder that you're still living and breathing and your pulse is not bringing with it the warmth from your heart so strongly. when youre alone the warmth of your heart is the only safety rope to existence outside of yourself. its a question things from inside can inspire things outside... its more like the desire and the drive and the motivation. when your pulse is the only warmth it pushes a continuation of its own existence. you lose sense of yourself because the warmth inside of you will radiate strong enough that you may be nothing with out its existence.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

lacey seems like a land of inappropriate drunkness

and then you text me while im there.
i gave up on you texting me back, texting you was a novelty i came across not expecting a real answer
you respond like being into you was never an option. like its a mer commonality that my genetics want to procreate with your genetics. thank god for me understanding the ability to knife my genetics out and freeze them for future use. because your genetics will not get ahold of my genetics with out pre approval from our friend pat.... oops i always knew hed make a good godfather

so i was in lacey talking to my future kids godfather daryl, yes the familia is large. when he made me realize that under no circumstances will a normal 9-5 job support my habits, and plural is important these days. because ive tried to make ppl understand this kind of alcohalism and i never wanted leave houston for these reasons, and yet here i am alone again. judging and prejudging my citizens. bobby. i want to judge your customers and them alone, no one else

see the truth is whenever im thinking drake's, best i ever had, im not thinking of you, or him, im thinking of dash snow and his 78 polaroids and his first arrival of inclinations towards me to make me want to do blow of a black man's dick and nothing else. even mike range couldnt provide this kind of intuition. if this were really all about me and getting rocks off it wouldnt matter if i were drunk or not tonight. i drink enough regularly where people dont want me that tonight is just another night

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Crazy Dazies

Collaboration with Oh Pony! for Trash and Garnish (dot blogspot dot com)

Friday, July 3, 2009



i cant believe he's into me

every day i wake up, and im thinking, what's he doing right nowww!!!...
Im used to my typical boyfriend type: alcohalic, on drugs, misogynist, unproductive. so here comes some one who is actually into me. and he's everything ive been asking for : in college, creative, musician. The in college part is major. It's the first time I'll be dating anyone in college. I'm usually too dumb for college boys, or I party too much. There has to be something wrong because he doesn't seem to mind either

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Colourful Colorado!

they should put weed in the fudge they sell on top of pikes peak. its the perfect way to combat vertigo and the altitude sickness. Ever since I met the trade mark and liscensing lawyer in Montezuma CO, I've known where i need to spend a period of my mature adult years here. Probably the part right before I go to Tibet to die. There's so many nice things about this place. Besides the fact that weed is everywhere!!! This land convinces me that what I'm fighting for is true. I got a bumper sticker today supporting hemp oil as an alternate fuel source!... Like DUH!!! Colorado makes America feel like a truly free country! It was what we must fight for.... yea I have twisted motivations. I can't wait to spend enough time here to make art here. I'm just barely waist deep in Olympia, hardly even swimming rights in those waters, but its a shallow pond. I will definately spend time here in Colorado and make some really transcendental art. I feel at this altitude, meditation is much easier <3