Thursday, January 8, 2015

de(a)dication /// rezolution

i have spent most of my last few years going to festivals, some how also managing to finish a degree (a bachelors of festivals of course)... i have volunteered at so many wonderful fests, vended so many others more! been a vendor coordinator, a photographer, a preformer, art gallery coordinator, promoter, and down right party goer! it has been a truly amazing blessing to meet so many amazing people, work with some of the best people ever in one of the best ever industries of the universe! i have been inspired by so many fellow artists, musicians, performers, dreamers, and healers! you each touch my heart profoundly! i am in a very different place from when i first started down that path and much love to those who have touched my heart along the way, to those who have healed me and helped me! i am looking to give back in such a capacity i have never experienced before. I am looking to do so much more! I will hone my craft for you! i am but a humble servent in hopes to hold your heart! and to captivate your passions! and inspire youre wildest dreams! i hope to bring my art to you in ways i have not even imagined myself yet! here is to wishful thinkings! and the year of the horned beast!

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Soft fluffy fresh powder
Natural rock stacks and
My bathroom is the hottest room on the lot

On health and diets and figures

I find myself terribly self-conscious about my body image at times, spoiler alert I should have posted this on evergreen confessions.... I think I'm brainwashed to believe I'm fat and then I think about dieting, then I fear the only place I will lose anything from are my tits! Dear Goddess I am so grateful for my breasts, I was less than an A cup till I was 23! Now I just wear a low cut shirt and people give me things for free! I have also been brainwashed to believe this is acceptable and I should never have to work for anything!  Far too much washing of this brain... I have been actively working daily to reverse these ideas. I remember being a dancer with eating disorders and an even worse body image. But Goddesses come in every shape and size and we are all beautiful, old and young, wrinkled or taunt . Every day I find a part of my body I am thankful for and then I love it with exercise and nutritious food!

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Affinity for trees

   Do you remember the first time you fell in love ? do you remember when something for the first time went wrong? Do you ever remember being envious of the trees because surely they never had to have feelings like these? Do you remember wanting to be able to put down roots and stretchout your leaves? Do you remember wanting to grow old providing great and glorious shade for two lovers to meet and grow old together under? for them to have children of their own to grow up and play under your shade? Those initial feelings of love and loss they will come and go. However the way you feel about the trees and their simple life will never go away

Friday, December 19, 2014

Rocky Mountain high

I'll be up in the Rocky Mountain high soon enough! The mountains of my blood line, from generations back settling in southern foothills in the frontier days of New Mexico, to my parents both being raised in Colorado and meeting in Denver, these mountains hold the stories of my ancestors and I am grateful to be heading home to them and starting my own story in the most northern US Rockies of Montana

Monday, December 15, 2014

duh duh dun

i got the truck all cleaned out and now im ready to get it repacked for the next big adventure. i don't feel like im ready but i also don't feel like i have any reason to stick around...... i guess you can come see me and say bye at the Friday! // Solstice Insomnia with Desert Dwellers, Perkulat0r + more
show!!! BubbleGunk will be vending with a few things from To Catch A Ray Crystals latest collection!!! and i might snap some pics before i leave so i have something to remember you all by. oh my heart is breaking to know that my impending departure of the northwest is coming so soon. im scared of being alone on the open road and with no direction, but it also excites me to no end!
I remember the time Prof. Curtis left Houston to go back to school in Chicago, oh how my heart was broken over the loss of my best friend and inspiration. I couldn't imagine my art being as great with out his influence. A part of me is scared that traveling like this will just produce the same feeling constantly. Will I be constantly trampled by my enamoured feelings each time I make a new best friend? Will I truly be able to carry all of their hearts with me? And will coping with loss ever get easier.
Do I enjoy some sort of sick torture that I must do this to myself over and over again.
The bonds I formed in Olympia have grown too strong and I must break them.  It was with you that I lost myself, and then with you that I also found where that little girl was hiding and it was with you that she truly became the woman goddess that was always inside of her. Does the scar tissue on the heart make it stronger?
So if I travel onward and all we have left are inperfect memories, know always that you have left a thumb print on my soul. My novel can not be complete with out the chapter on you! whoever you are, whoever you were to me, and wherever we go, unconditional love does exists because of us!

maybe ill visit chicago... that's a place i have yet to exist before

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

holdin onto your heart
has made me want 
to let go of everything
im holdin on to
in between all of this
do you wanna hold onto me
well i dont even want to know
the difference between
black and white for you
but you know that
in between is
a better place for me