Monday, June 29, 2009

Friday, June 26, 2009

THIS IS MY FUTURE BOYFRIEND



CONSUMER FEAR DEPT

Collaboration with Oh Pony!




oh pony designed the box and i helped paint it!
oh pony styled the shoot and modeled! i photographed!
we get some good work done when we work together! <3

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Jeff introduced me



Consumer Fear Department

1.75 of the chronic

you spend so much time in your life hunting and searching for that perfect jewel. for that chronic cocaine. my mom says they don't make cocaine like they used to. well actually, they do. its a matter of who you know. last night, i found the chronic cocaine

treasure hunting

you so often are searching for that precious stone
the perfect jewel
some one once said something about anything
you may have lost will always be in the last place you look
this is an annoyance to any one in mid hunt
not to me, i like to find lost objects
and the saying always holds true almost absolute
and im sitting here watching you so desperately
search and turn over new leaves
frantically you can't find what you're looking for
wouldn't that be the way
the hunt for the perfect jewel would be
and of course if you were to find that precious stone
you would lose interest of course because
there is always a more precious stone out there
the leaf turning process will begin again
at one point i decided i would not turn over new leaves
the rediculous process had left me rather strained and striving
im not sure what im doing now
i am more content to sit and observe and focus
to be a steady constant
my life will go on regardless
my actions or not
you have the choice not to act
the precious stone will be the last place you look
to be steadily with in yourself is the only peace i know

Glitch and Growl

texas girl


who doesnt think angela ryan is amazing?
i love this photo

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

heat humidity

i'm sweating and
i am half naked
hiding in the bathroom
i'm sweating and
i do cocaine over
the broken mirror
sitting in the sink
heat is relentless
im thinking of
dancing with you

CONSUMER FEAR DEPARTMENT

Saturday, June 13, 2009

my fear of broken glass

you claim a lot of shit my imagination hasn't even thought of
i wish half of it were true, so i can an exscape into that world
i dont believe in the karmic relief your ideals provide
im not the kind of person that thinks out loud
im not the kind of person that acts in the moment
i will show up in your life ten years from today
you will wish and pray you never knew me

i can't break windows
i can't break mirrors
the last time a window of a car broke for me
it was the rear window of my mitsubishi outlander, slammed hard against a bmx handle bar
those shards of glass where like poison to me released into my atmosphere
i shrank back and let the shatter hit me
evertime i imagine glass breaking i can feel the shards sprinkle cuts into my skin
i see the splinters of blood on my flesh
it makes me cry

i didnt brake your window. im too scared

consumer fear department

Sunday, June 7, 2009

something i pulled out from the past

while going through things at my moms house i found this oldie but goodie from circa '05

My Heart A Line

You are a point on my line
a representational image of my heart
your point, the intersection
of your line with my heart
my child, an immaculate star
next to your point on my line
your words, your sword
your scourge directly t hrough my heart
your scalpel, to dig out
my immaculate star from my heart
your effort to dig out
your point from my line
but my lord knows eternity
our lord affixed your point to my line
your effort severed me from
my child, my immaculate star
for he/she now shines brighter
then even the two of our hearts
our child shall encompass our two lines
on the plain of eternity, our existance
my child, holy concieved, my gaurdian
through my sin, may I have relieved 
your denial, shall you believe
what was God ordained
what was God concieved
my tears, my penance
shall flood every point
beyond yours along my line
my repentance, my console
shall flood the rest of my life

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

im caught in a dream

i'm caught in a dream
and i am sweating
the sheets stick to my skin
like a salty caccoon
wearing nothing but
sweat and tears
smeared mascara war paint

caught in a dream
i can't wake up 
i can hear your heart beating
to the rhythm i like best
match the melodies in
my head and no one knows

when i wake up i'm alone again

Monday, June 1, 2009

Andre Scarth vs. Eyesore




TRAVIS KERSCHEN


some times i hear no love lost on repeat

in my head, the three different versions on repeat. it's part travis kerschen inspiration. its part of dirty houston. its like reaching out for a shimmer of sparkle that fades the instant your finger tips make contact. landing in houston is the same way. it's like you're heart shattering and the shards of glass make shimmer sounds as they fall down your chest, and like the light hits the shards of broken mirrors as the fall. i have war paint on my face, but not like i'd normally prefer. this is drunk intoxicant. dirty jeff said we'd only end up as a crack couple. i wish i could be so lucky but the horse is always involved even in that situation. the fact is you don't know me so well. you only know my predicted history. and the fact that i've only given up more makes it even more so impersonal it doesnt even mean anything. you fuck me and then run home to your common law wife..... ....here's reality... i promised i couldn't but right now i would