Saturday, November 26, 2011

the empty field

I'm sick of this perpetually empty field. 
I miss walking on moon dust powder fluffing up around me. 
I miss the infinite field. I miss your hand.
There used to be so much inbetween you and I.
The distance made me sick, 
the distractions sent my head spinning.
Now there is nothing, this is emptiness. 
This heart I have keeps beating, 
but only to perpetuate this convenience of life.
The inbetween the beat lulls longer these days.
The ghost inside of me is now more human than I am.
The weightlessness is becoming heavy. 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

too cold to feel

Ice cold rain drops soak through to my brain
ice cicle nuerons fire my synapses frozen
dripping down my face and pin needles into my eyes
my body so numb and too cold to cry
i wonder how it will feel in the end
is that when i will finally be content
at what degree does the heart muscle stop beating?
and when does it stop feeling?
when the ice age comes my in ability to feel should proove useful

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

ghostly embodied

months after you left i could smell you in my bed
see the indent on my pillow where you laid your head
these small details would induce flashbacks
of the way your skin felt touching mine
i could feel the weight of your hand on my hip once again
when will this consciousness shift begin
when will i be untrained to your familiarity like i had been

Monday, November 14, 2011

of all the realities

at the beginning there is hey, id like to get to know you
but before the evening is even close to ending we know which road youve gone down
or youve gone down on him funny how he knows how to tell you what to do
slide your hand in to the pocket of lovers and lies
see if you can pull anything out worth keeping around or even flipping for odds
heads this will last forever, tails youre taking one more for the team
the true joy of this all is that will last forever and you are taking one for the team
you make the decisions in this choose your own adventure
pg. 51 you find yourself under a bridge by some train tracks making track marks along the path of your veins until theres no life in you left to live
pg. 21 youre looking at yourself in the mirror in your five bedroom house filled full of emptiness, a heart that strains to live outside the white picket fence, and a cabinet full of pills not recommended to mix with liquor

where is the in between?
i am meditating under a tree and on either side of me are these lives i might have lived, they intertwine themselvse into the branches of this tree. there are several paths around me but only one trunk of the tree

Thursday, November 10, 2011


i want to know what happened
what went through your head
that after a week with out you
came back to me dead

kissing your lips to me
was the softest surprise
like a finger print left there
i can feel your lip stain residue

playin dress up in your room
we were treasures for ourselves
not to care for the rest of the world
what made you want to change

do you know that with out you
all there inside of me is empty
i want to hold your face again
as you braid our hair together

Friday, November 4, 2011

more on space and time

i saw the day time sky
open up to reveal
all the universe around me
i felt so small
under this great tree of life
you say its quite a shame
i havent put in my time
you say i've got an
awfully long way to go
im staring at our future
where you and i are ghosts
we are gas burning hot
we are energies of light
its almost as if
i can step out into it
the pathless road
the journey for me
has no distance
no measure i can know

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

my name is light

i can only breath and keep breathing
i can not heal the past
i can cry enough, to experience
that i am not light
i want to hold my ancestors in my arms
i want to heal them
my tears are blood
i want to shed all my life for them
those that in their life did not actively try to heal the earth
but they gave to me their blood and their genes
i want to be light
my god given name
and yet i can not shed enough
i want the pores of my skin to bleed light
and yet there is not enough to heal the earth
everything that i am
to heal
and yet i am alone in the cold darkness
this universe
will exist even with out light