at the hospital at one am

waiting for my grandma to feel better. its hard to explain the psychological neurosis i experience every time I enter this sterile environment. haunting memories flood my cranial membrane. needles and blood and blood and needles. and illigetimate excuses. and broken promises. and a glimmer of hope in ever corner paired opposite the grim reaper. i do not explain the conflict i feel on these grounds that heaven and earth wage wars. 

paul said i used my psychic powers this week. we were thinking about his house keys at the same time. i remember it about tuesday morning that i should return to him his house keys since i have been too busy to perform any of my previous services. i remember sending mike an instant message regarding this. paul today mentioned that he had the same feelings that morning and when he met mike in the office mike delivered my message verbally. but he clearly stated he had the premonition before the verbal message. meaning i used my psychic abilities and the verbal message was quite unneccassary. paul is also trying to give me his beta fish. its quite a beautiful creature. maroon. delicate satiny fabric of fins to swim with. i feel like i would not give him a good home. but i long for companionship and he's offered him openly. i think i should accept this new friend into my life. 

i want to go home tonight to some one to cuddle with. some one who's arms will hold me to rest in. and then i can be at peace.