The plan is to drink less and listen more

I'm going to seattle this weekend, basically just to see John Read, the Wiggins, play in a state I've never seen him play in before. I'm going to the Centralia hospital today to see Phil. He basically wrecked his life this time. It's the junk. I want to become a more all around aware person. So I'm really opposed to most all substances. I ate acid last weekend and short while later I snorted half a mdma capsule. It's just wearing on me. The first thing McKenzie said to me when I told him was "Oh no, don't do that". I guess its along the lines of even that exploration, isn't even exploration any more. Does that mean I am all grown up? What do I even drink for anymore. The feelings I used to try to drink away, I don't even consider feelings anymore, they're an offshoot experience of life. Plain and simple, its just a part of life.