i maybe think its my head exploding

the sun is coming down through the clouds in the west, with the rain, these are perfect rainbow conditions. I often view olympia as a hotspot for rainbows. never in my life have i lived under such frequent, prefect, and often double rainbows. both ends with in thurston county limits. regardless wether or not a rainbow may occur today, its often, but not THAT often. I love watching the line of horizon the tops of the evergreens make, cutting into the clouds in the sky. so here's the point of view: despite the forewarning sense of failure that will come over me if don't get into tesc and must complete one more quarter at the south puget sound cc, despite being entirely alone in my mental journey, despite my lack of appetite towards social interaction and time outside, despite my lack of attendance at school and at dance parties, despite my lack of substance intake and abuse... i am having the time of my life.... breath.... i am listening to the most influential and exploratory music ive ever heard in my entire life. my heart seems to break nearly every single day. and in the place of the fracture i am mended by a new sound blowing my mind. i need to expose this experience to the world through an artistic outlet, which is why i want to be at evergreen. which is why i need a studio, which is why i need to see people.