where am i in all of this?

its almost a month into 2011. the best year yet. i am full to the brim. i feel like the painting on my wall of a bucket with the bottom dropping out, so full with water over flowing. im at a new chapter in my life. i am independantly free and thinking from all of the substances that held me down for years before. i remember feeling the anxiety of needed the release. and to my surprise i do not have that same anxiety. my heart is calm, not wanting to race. my mind is appeased and full of a brand new appetite. my paintbrush, like a chamelion, changing color from setting scene. i cant even describe all the images in my mind. i cant find the words and painting only seems a fitting way to show my visions. that and drums. i want to play and dance and sing, oh the joyful song of discovery and rediscovery and independant wealth. not the wealth of money but wealth of love and vision.