mostly to tell people all the things I want to tell them but are too rude to say to their faces. FUCK YOU ALL! sometimes I am definately from Tejas. I can't fucking stand my friends sometimes but I love them to death. They make me. Sometimes it's just people in general, the consciousness is too much. I completely understand that nothing I feel means anything. And yet I'm constantly attracted to having these people in my life. It's how they make me feel. In a good way.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Sunday, April 20, 2014
performance arts
are a way to live the light for because if you don't shine bright enough you cant even see.
this hitt really close to home. so many levels. as an addict. as a performer! i need to get back to my roots....
http://www.hulu.com/watch/584945
this hitt really close to home. so many levels. as an addict. as a performer! i need to get back to my roots....
http://www.hulu.com/watch/584945
Friday, April 18, 2014
On the Quest... and Meds
sometimes, it's that I'm on the quest for meds... sometimes.
I was first prescribed medicine for mood swings when I was 16. I was on a plethora of pills. Something to help my arthritis in my back (I know, at 16 !!!) something to help my sleep and something to help my mood swings. By the time I was 19 I didn't really feel anything at all. Looking back it is all kind of funny. I was a teenager. Things change, your body changes, there are growth spurts and hormones all running a muck of what you were once used to. My parent's answer was to medicate me. Too bad we couldn't have conceived of medical marijuana in the state of Texas ten years ago. I am surprised to see legislation with that happening all over America now. I am also learning more and more about other natural pathic medicines to help with my conditions. A little over a week ago I had another nasty case of the mania bi-polar mood swings that I have been a silent sufferer from for the last ten years. Of course not so silent if you could hear the things I say when I'm afflicted.
.... I stayed the course though. There's no way this chica is gona decalcify her penial gland while taking prescription pills.
I was first prescribed medicine for mood swings when I was 16. I was on a plethora of pills. Something to help my arthritis in my back (I know, at 16 !!!) something to help my sleep and something to help my mood swings. By the time I was 19 I didn't really feel anything at all. Looking back it is all kind of funny. I was a teenager. Things change, your body changes, there are growth spurts and hormones all running a muck of what you were once used to. My parent's answer was to medicate me. Too bad we couldn't have conceived of medical marijuana in the state of Texas ten years ago. I am surprised to see legislation with that happening all over America now. I am also learning more and more about other natural pathic medicines to help with my conditions. A little over a week ago I had another nasty case of the mania bi-polar mood swings that I have been a silent sufferer from for the last ten years. Of course not so silent if you could hear the things I say when I'm afflicted.
.... I stayed the course though. There's no way this chica is gona decalcify her penial gland while taking prescription pills.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Monday, February 10, 2014
assumptions
you would think by now i would have hardened my heart up enough
im used to the dust kicked up in my eyes
you'd think by now my sockets would have ran dry
you would think by now i would have ran out of tears to cry
Friday, January 31, 2014
I've fallen and I can't get up
Mad in love...
I hate it.
But im deep in it.... it was basically love at first sight.
I'm a half year into it.
Constant struggle to keep my wits about me.
If he is the one for me, my partner, down the road this won't matter. But I can't handle this again that is for sure. I will be asbtinate for the rest of my life if he leaves me. It will be my last. I do not care to do this again that is for sure. Unless the Goddess settles me on a more kind soul than the one I know now. The risk of another loser is not worth the trouble they will cause.
Either way, I have art and my career to be at my side. He gives me everything, including my space. I need to love to give him his.
I must outgrow the pains and struggles to master the medium. I must make falling in love like falling in love with a process.
I hate it.
But im deep in it.... it was basically love at first sight.
I'm a half year into it.
Constant struggle to keep my wits about me.
If he is the one for me, my partner, down the road this won't matter. But I can't handle this again that is for sure. I will be asbtinate for the rest of my life if he leaves me. It will be my last. I do not care to do this again that is for sure. Unless the Goddess settles me on a more kind soul than the one I know now. The risk of another loser is not worth the trouble they will cause.
Either way, I have art and my career to be at my side. He gives me everything, including my space. I need to love to give him his.
I must outgrow the pains and struggles to master the medium. I must make falling in love like falling in love with a process.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
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