HORROR PORN

CONSUMER FEAR DEPARTMENT

Where the Wild THINGs RAWR!

I'm watching this movie based on a book i read maybe twenty-some years ago. There was something in that story, and in the illustrations. It was profound inspiration for the first story I ever wrote. It's really interesting to experience the story again, in such a form of translation. It echos experiences I'm learning in the Acts of Translation class. It echos all the small things I allow to get in my way. This class is definately stretching my potential. In ways I didn't see previously. I am considering so much more carefully human relationships and their affect on me and mine on them. I am so much less careless of a heart. It makes Jacob's ignorrance seem insignifigance to mine. I saw from the beginning the exact things that took us apart.

I look at stories like these and remember my pregnancy with Travis. I was utterly convinced Love was enough to raise a child. I am well aware that children require proper education, proper nourishment, proper inspiration, proper hygiene, etc. Love is definately required, but what if a child over active imagination and like my over active imagination it hinders him from properly developing into a functional and productive adult!!!!!!!!!

Well those are definately some very real fears in life. All I can hope at this point is that my development into a properly functioning adult can be at its full capacity. All I can hope is to make the most of this grab bag full of skills and talents to call myself. And then I think about all my adventures in baby sitting and how kids have like a billion times more energy than even I, hardly an adult! And holy shit give a kid an imagination and with it's energy you'd be lucky to keep it coming home every day.

Any way.. more reasons to wait to procreate till half the planet is destroyed through apocalyptic tragedies.

And Vogue Italia OCT 2009

Is one of my favorite inspirations of the year!

I want the shoes on the right

things from my list of obsessions

The sunshine and powerlines

Shrooming through the woods

and I tripped..

not like you'd expect. We were picking chantrels, and I lost footing while stepping over a log and bruised and scraped my left shin. Its a minor injury, something that I can't let hold me back when I wake up with arthritus in the morning. The things I put my body through... and the truth is there really is no point to it. I'm not convinced at any rate.

JINDER

YOUTH BLOOD

Woman and Child

This song is very beautiful to me, its like an epic fantasy sound track....

CONSUMER FEAR DEPT

On Insignifigance and Constant Rain

I feel it has been raining over 24 straight hours, maybe 48 even.

I feel the rain makes me insignifigant. The rain washes away highlights of my identity.

Because the best weather proofed jacket I own looks typical.

Because my shoes are soaked through I will only wear one pair all season.

Because I'm inside hiding from the wet and cold rather than reveling out in sunshine.

I have also been looking at the signifigance I give to others in comparison to their value in my life. I look back at my experience with Jacob and realize the signifigance I gave him out weighed any signifigance he gave me. He never played music with me, like he said. He promised lots of things that ended in false hopes and ideals.

I have looked at the signifigance my ideas have when fostered in this class I'm in. I will not accept that my ideas have no signifigance. I will accept that they may come from such unvocalizable place for me that their signifigance is muddy in their medium of me.

I have also learned that my most signifigant acheivements were not fostered in school. I mean you can consider my dance education of the scholarly sort, but my work with Freneticore as well as my visual art have been completely independant from any educational establishment.

The ideas themselves and my participation hold great signifigance.

Should feeling so lost in constant rain have signifigance?