Headlong into Night

If I could wipe you from my mind
I'd do it straight away
Like waves do like waves do

- thieves like us

r. stevie moore - I'm scared

there's a special person who i'd like to know
there's a call that i should make before i go
but i'm scared they might not see
inside me so i'll be prepared
cause i'm scared

there's a magic feeling which i'd like to give
there's a house for rent in which i'd like to live
but i'm scared i won't find you
and all the love i knew we shared
and i'm scared
i'm scared

every time i drink wine
i'm not frightened anymore

there's a bottle getting empty very fast
and it's bringing out my future and my past
and i'm scared of running dry
afraid i'll start to cry cause i cared
i was scared
i'm still scared

there's a song i'm writing just to say goodbye
there's a couple seconds left before i die

Trying to recreate this disallusion

"You should try sober"
"I dont think i'm meant for something that good"
"youre meant for something hood"


Keeping this together just enough to tell josh rudolph that his american astronaut film is my last known inspiration...

I guess this is the closest

i've come to ending
all of it.
im as usuall addicted to my normal
but ive never wanted to use it against myself in such a way
i seriously feel so tainted there is no coming clean
i've never wanted to dig knives deeper.
its unappologetic, my neglect for feelings
oh how damned i'd be to bring anything else into this

everything has a timely death in the dessert

everything is soaking in the dewey mist
except for you, like a drying tumbleweed
this moisture only keeps you rooted longer
and you are all too ready to carry out
your timely journey to death
picked up in the wind severing your last root
tossed about the country dessert road way
until you find the grooves of the grill
on an old ford pick up to fold yourself into

Ethiopian Jazz

I feel like the depth of me is widening
wil gave me david lynch's catching the big fish to read
he also gave me mulatu astatke to listen to
i feel i need to write about the rotten egg that is my insides
i think about all the wonders people get to enjoy
and the people who have enjoyed me and i realize
how nothing inside of me is unspoiled
with out help from others i have destroyed what's left
the toxins that are left
well maybe there is one other spoiled soul that needs refuge
i guess i can only ever write about all those failing until something finally follows through

The Weight

I pulled into Nazareth, was feelin' about half past dead;
I just need some place where I can lay my head.
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?"
He just grinned and shook my hand, and "No!", was all he said.


(Chorus:)
Take a load off Fanny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Fanny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

I picked up my bag, I went lookin' for a place to hide;
When I saw Carmen and the Devil walkin' side by side.
I said, "Hey, Carmen, come on, let's go downtown."
She said, "I gotta go, but m'friend can stick around."

(Chorus)

Go down, Miss Moses, there's nothin' you can say
It's just ol' Luke, and Luke's waitin' on the Judgement Day.
"Well, Luke, my friend, what about young Anna Lee?"
He said, "Do me a favor, son, woncha stay an' keep Anna Lee company?"

(Chorus)

Crazy Chester followed me, and he caught me in the fog.
He said, "I will fix your rack, if you'll take Jack, my dog."
I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, you know I'm a peaceful man."
He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you can."

(Chorus)

Catch a cannon ball now, t'take me down the line
My bag is sinkin' low and I do believe it's time.
To get back to Miss Fanny, you know she's the only one.
Who sent me here with her regards for everyone.

Olivia asked me to marry her!

I said yes!
She hand crafted this ring to show her love for me <3

New Spells and Things

Yellow Cross

I've decided to post these because it's relevent to my weekend. the future will explain more
here is Yellow Cross shot live @ the pheonix house back in November of 2009.

i want to see them make love

i like to look at how people are so different from one another
when they go home and close their curtains, they open up to their perversions
when they are public they try and hide into a cookie cutter social norm
i want to see inside behind those curtains
i want people to let me into their perverse dreams
i want to see what makes people cum